Emily

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Two years today your life ended here on earth.  I remember vividly sitting around the table with a friend sewing party bags for Lexie-Grace’s birthday when I received the phone call.  I was stunned as I really didn’t think you were “that” ill.

It’s been 2years, why can’t I think about you and not get a little chocked up?  You never preached at me, never gave me advice, never gave me a scripture verse, never professed to be my friend but yet you are one of the people who has impacted my life in such a significant way.  The reason I know this is that hardly a day  goes by without me thinking about you.   

Last night I was doing the dishes, and I thought of you.  The other day I ate a piece of cake and thought of you. The other day Lilly whom you were so very excited to meet and never got the opportunity to, got me all frazzled by throwing yoghurt on the newly cleaned floor.  I thought to myself this is what you had with Lexie but never a day you complained or even told me that she was a handful.  At night when I lay in bed and all is quiet I sometimes think of you. 

You might think I am writing about a family member, a special friend or a “loved one” but the answer to both the above mentioned is negative.  I am writing about our domestic worker and Lexie-Grace's Nanny for almost two years.

EMILY!

Could it be that you were my “knight” in shining armour when I was really conflicted about going back to work when Lexie-Grace was only 3months old?  Your love, diligence, extra mile and care made it easy for me to get back into work.  I trusted you with my most prized “possession”.

I remember your 30th birthday.  We bought you a few gifts and a cake to take home.  You cried when you saw the cake and proceeded to tell me that you have never had a birthday cake.  REALLY??? In 30years????

I remember driving you to your little shack sometimes and you sitting next to me in the car with a smug smile as we both had a sense in our beings that we blessed to have one another in our lives. What always blew me away was how much love and effort you put into your tin home and the numerous photos you had of “your” Lexie-Grace in your home. 

You saw silent and hidden tears of overwhelming weeks at work and broken relationships and helped me get through them by just being there for our daughter.

What gets me the most about your passing is that I didn’t for a minute think you were that ill.  Here I was "Super Social Worker" rescuing “the world” and meanwhile back at home you were suffering daily with a virus killing you every day.  How did I not notice???  

Sorry that I failed you!  The times you were ill we would go to my GP to get flu remedies but never did I think further and think your continual illness was something larger than the flu.  I should have noticed but the truth was that I was really just too busy.  A weak excuse if I ever heard one, but my reality at the time. 

Emily your 32years of life were not wasted.  I really can’t think of one person who has single handily taught me so much about life and made such an impact on me.   It will echo into eternity.

This is a small ode to you my dearest Emily.  You deserve a lot more than a few paragraphs but this is it for now. 

As you become a distant thought to Lexie-Grace I get sad, but know that you impacted her life to and without her even knowing because of you she has become a great little girl.  You would love her even more and be so proud of who she is at almost 4years of life.  She has recently had a few surgeries on her eyes and can just imagine how concerned you would have been if you were still here.  I can go on all night!! 

You were not  not just a “maid” (such a disturbing word used by many and one i dislike intensely).  The name Emily will always be significant to me and as I hear it the words strong, brave, beautiful, courageous, generous and sacrificial are but a few that come to my mind.
  
Your death taught me to slow down and take a few more breaths and enjoy life. It challenged me to start looking after those around and not just those in my community of faith.  Most of all, it taught me to enjoy the presence of others and to be fully present when I am with them. 

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