A Facebook Status update that morphed into a mish-mash blog entry!

-

This morning I was bombarded with a heap of information from all directions! Right now I am personally facing a few challenges and sometimes I allow it to get to me.  I dislike loosing perspective and actually don't lose it too often.  but when I lose it, I lose it GOOD! 

As human-beings we are always bombarded with stepping up our game, the next best thing, or having a clear blue-print.  It makes me feel extremely anxious and almost forces me to go to such an un-authentic part of myself just to get an answer to impress someone else!  

In the quiet space I created for myself this morning a question popped into my head: "what if this was it, would I be satisfied with my life right now?"  I pondered for a bit and my answer was actually a BIG resounding YES!  

This is my journey, my life and I am traveling it to the best of my authenticity, I might be going VERY slow and for me for now, it is very needed!  I never ever want to be in space again where I am travelling my life journey with someone else's GPS co-ordinates.  There are almost always more than one way to get to any destination.  I don't care who gets there first as long as I get there eventually and get there WHOLE, INTACT and HAPPY!  

It might seem like I lack ambition, but I don't! I too, have a silly bucket list and certain goals I would like to achieve BUT it will take place on the timeline that was created for me. Yes I would like to better areas in my life and still have some career ambition, but I don't want to live in that continual trap of "want" and miss the gift of the now! 

You see this post came after:
I saw an acquaintance from school's son is missing. A young widowed mom navigating parenthood on her own and navigating the pain of death.
A 3 year old fighting leukemia and the whirlwind of chaos it brings.  A gentleman so riddled by poverty and sickness that he cant keep track of the days of the week! 

You see why I can't pray for any goals or wants today but just reiterate THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! And instead send up prayers to all going through such extreme turmoil. 

I have my health, my husband and my children, a roof over my head, food in my fridge!  You see why my answer was "YES, I am happy with my life right now?"

What I wrote down in my journal:  To be thankful everyday, to love God, to love and serve my family and to make a daily difference to whoever crosses my path!  Being faithful with the little that God has entrusted me with now, is good enough for me. 

"Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day." Sally Koch

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What I learn from my children V

-
Image
When I look into the eyes of this little precious creation I just see total peace.  Peace with every single thing and person around her.  There is no questioning her own worth and when I show her, her little face in the mirror a big smile lights up her face and she totally adores the little face staring back at her.  When I look at my two daughters and their total love for almost the whole Universe and everything in it, I wonder to myself when will their perceptions start getting warped?  When will the glasses they view the world through start getting tainted.?  I wonder to myself where did I loose it?  And I guess it is inevitable that one day they too will get hurt by a mean action or a mean word or two, that will leave them a little broken. In my opinion your relationship with yourself is one of the most important relationship you will have in your life.  No matter where you go in life you will never get rid of yourself and you will always take yo...
Read more

We were going to be on REALITY TV!!

-
Image
In just over 13 hours everything was set for 4 days of filming right here in our house.  We were going to make our reality TV debut on a Dstv channel family swap show.  We didn't find them, they found us. We were quite taken a back that we were approached and that a production company thought our little family would be interesting enough for a show.  We were already contacted 2 months ago and we first said no.  We had a family meeting and surprisingly all 3 girls were really keen (albeit they would have to speak Afrikaans 60% of the time). So we asked the director and producers millions of questions and finally signed on.  We mentally prepared ourselves for the this, more so myself and Lex, the 2 who don't do well with the unknown. But we signed up for it all and we were all ready, anxious and set to go.  There were so many calls, emails, preparations and plans. My poor INFJ personality was in a state of shock with all the talking over phones to strangers....
Read more

When my heart processes, it breaks.

-
Walking up and down the eerily silent corridor of a maternity ward in a state hospital my heart is in a continual algorithm of being ripped and then being put back again.  We are drawn to the loud cries of a baby behind a hospital door. Processing the joy of new mommies receiving beautiful unexpected maternity packs makes my soul leap.  Processing the pain of two mommies losing their babies and one little baby abandoned by his mommy makes my soul ache with grief, for him and for his mommy.  A big part of her must have wanted to keep him as she went as far as enduring the pain of labour and delivery.  Maybe this was her only way of giving her precious son a chance at living.  "Little One", as your story becomes a police case and as your name goes into a system, may you know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.  May goodness be the hallmark of your life.  May peace protect your heart and may your story compel us to rip ourselves from the...
Read more